My child keeps getting bitten at daycare. She is attending a home daycare facility. She has been bitten 3 times by the same kid. My daycare provider has chosen not to terminate daycare for the biter. I, on the other hand, do not feel comfortable anymore sending my child to an environment where she is put in the situation where she will be bullied or potentially pick up on these bad habits. I would think that if the daycare provider was in the same room as they are, this would never happen. 3 times is my absolute limit.
I would like to terminate my daycare contract immediately. In the contract, it states that a 2 week notice should be given to my provider. In my opinion, the 2 weeks notice should be excused because of the situation. I wanted to find out if there were any rules that went along with situations like these.
Biting is such a hard topic to conquer. I understand the parent's concern about the child being bitten. I know as a mom I always got frustrated with my child when she got bit at daycare as well. But I think I need more info to give a good answer! How old are the children? Over what span of time did the bites take place? How severe are the bites? Do they break skin? Just leave teeth marks? Bruising?
If it is 3 bites over the course of a couple days or a couple weeks, I can see why the parent would be more frustrated. But has it been a month? 2 months? And if the children (or at least the biter) is only 1, as frustrating as the behavior is, it is normal. There needs to be a plan between provider and parents on a consistent way to handle the biting. But in the providers defense, just because we are in the room, doesn't mean it's not going to happen! I've had a couple kids over the course of my childcare years, that would bite if you're sitting right next to them!
As far as being excused from the 2 week notice, again I feel like it depends on the time span of the bites. If it's been over the course of a few weeks, I don't feel like it is a reason to break the contract, even tho she feels uncomfortable taking her child back. There's nothing that says she has to take her child back, she may just have to pay for 2 weeks of care she doesn't use.
Was this parent writting you to get another provider's opinion on the situation?
The parents emailed me again, it is a 3 year old that is biting, omg:
-------------------------------------- Thanks, Michelle. The three biting incidents have happened over the span of almost a year. Aside from biting, this child is aggressive with hitting and pushing. The daycare provider has admitted to this child's problems with me and has also made the comment that she does not want to let him go because she would be losing 2 children because of it - he has a sister that attends the daycare. I have been extremely patient and understanding with this. The boy that is biting is 3 years old. I was kicked out of preschool when I was younger for biting myself. And my mother has told me how horrible that was. I appreciate your time. Amanda
A 3 yo biting could be signs of other issues. I would understand her concern about leaving her child there. I can understand the provider's point of not wanting to let the family go b/c of it being a family of 2. However, if this family leaves, how long before another family leaves because of this "biter" she has kept on?
If it were me, and I was seriously concerned about my child being left there, I would probably pull and look for another daycare. But it doesn't seem in my opinion that there is an IMMEDIATE danger to the child. (since the bites have occured over the course of a year), so I would think the contract would stand and the parent would have to provide a two-week notice. But, that doesn't mean she has to take her child there those two weeks!!
My child was bit 3 times at daycare over a 3 week period. And, there were TWO adluts with six children in the room at each occurance. If a child is a biter, they are most likely doing it to seek attention. Biting gets an IMMEDIATE reaction. Yes, it's negative, but it's still attention. I would think either (1) the child feels he/she is getting less attention due to s newer sibling or (2) there may be other mental issues with the child. Maybe the child can not properly communicate. 3 years old is a little old to be biting, but not uncommon either. If the child hits and does other things to put children in danger, that is another issue all together. Does the child break the skin when he/she bites others?
My daughter's biter has never broken the skin...yet. And I have addressed my concerns to her daycare. Since then, I believe they have been watching the other child more closely and no more incidents have occurred. I expressed if it continues I can no longer send our daughter there. I love the daycare center & stadd, but I refuse to let my child become a chew toy also. I know after I spoke with her daycare director she helped ease some of my concerns about the biting also in how they handle the situations. Her daycare does not expel children for biting either.
I have been in childcare for a long time. I have a room full of 2 year olds just bursting with energy. I have had children in my class become serious biters. Constantly, solving their issuses by biting another child or them selves. I have found that a lot of times it could be caused due to parents that do not give their children punishment or they give them punishment this time but not the next. The child sees this as a 50 50 chance type deal. As far as an idea when it comes to the biting perhaps you could ask the center to have the biter carry around a wet wash cloth and when they are angry and want to bite, they can bite down on the rag. I understand your frustration with the biting incident but 3 times really is not that severe. I do however believe that the biter should be put on some kind of temp probation. Kind of like a 3 strikes you're out type deal.
